


The Final Lullabye

by biifurcatedCoder



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Bullying, Denial, Denial of Feelings, Depression, Dream Bubbles, Hallucinations, Hateful Language, Hermaphroditism, Incest, M/M, Masturbation, Murder, NSFW, Sadstuck, Self Harm, Starvation, Suicide, Xeno, baking cookies, biting to scar, human/troll shared world, intentional bodily harm, karkri - Freeform, mentally insane! Kankri, salf hatred, serial killer! Kankri, suggested cannibalism, tentabulges and nooks, trolls as biological siblings, tw, vantascest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-25
Updated: 2014-01-25
Packaged: 2018-01-09 23:02:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1151846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biifurcatedCoder/pseuds/biifurcatedCoder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat strolled home, his bag on his back after another harsh day at his new human school. He was tired from being mocked on his height and his appearance. He sighed, opening the door to his Hive and strolling in, taking a moment to set his pack down and flop onto the couch</p>
<p>By the sound of it, his older brother was upstairs already, most likely locked in his own room, a trend that seemed to happen frequently lately. In all honesty, Kankri was pretty weird, even in the eyes of his own brother. He secluded himself from social situations and physical contact, and more often than not seemed to come off as incapable of normal emotions. He almost always was out away from the house doing god-knows-what, or locked away in his room, keeping to himself. It wasn’t natural, and it certainly wasn’t healthy</p>
<p>---- Sadstuck KarKri ----</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Final Lullabye

**Author's Note:**

> related art:
> 
> http://kankris-porn-stash.tumblr.com/image/37960730374
> 
> http://kankris-porn-stash.tumblr.com/post/50562210480/6ased-9n-p9ssi6ly-the-m9st-heart-wrenchingly
> 
> ** ALSO, fair warning, this has not been completely revised and fine-tuned, this is the rough edit. **

Karkat strolled home, his bag on his back after another harsh day at his new human school. He was tired from being mocked on his height and his appearance. He sighed, opening the door to his Hive and strolling in, taking a moment to set his pack down and flop onto the couch

By the sound of it, his older brother was upstairs already, most likely locked in his own room, a trend that seemed to happen frequently lately. In all honesty, Kankri was pretty weird, even in the eyes of his own brother. He secluded himself from social situations and physical contact, and more often than not seemed to come off as incapable of normal emotions. He almost always was out away from the house doing god-knows-what, or locked away in his room, keeping to himself. It wasn’t natural, and it certainly wasn’t healthy

Karkat groaned, running his hands on his face. He hated that human school, but he had to set that matter off his hands at the moment. He had to talk to Kankri. Starting his ascend upstairs, he trudged to his brother’s room and knocked on the door lightly, waiting for a long, irritated response, just like usual.

The knocking was followed by a metallic clatter and a heavy thud, before the irritated voice resonated through the door. “Karkat I suggest y9u 6ugger 9ff, y9u are interrupting s9methign 9f mine which is very imp9rtant t9 me, and if y9u value y9ur life whats9ever, y9u 9ught t9 highly c9nsider kindly fucking 9ff, pard9n my language. Y9u sh9uld kn9w 6etter than t9 c9me interrupt me.” he was certainly far more upset than usual, given the curse and the bluntness of his response.

Karkat growled lightly “KANKRI, YOU FUCK OFF. I mean, I risk my fucking life all these times with my pack of shit-brained losers. Gog, why did I decide to lead the pack of post scratches? FUCK ME IF I KNOW. I mean, seriously. I have had the shittiest day and I do NOT need that mouth of yours telling your little wriggling partner to fucking fuck off. It’s rather ridiculous and insensitive, even coming from /you/. So if your done fingerbanging your nook, would you be a kind little doll and get your insufferable shitstained, rotting thinkpan out here before I spontaneously combust!?!?” He ranted, feeling rather extra crabby today, and no, he was not in troll heat.

"What I d9 is a6s9lutely n9ne 9f y9ur 6uisness and watch y9ur m9uth, y9u ingrate! H9w dare y9u." he hissed through the door, another loud thud sounding before he unlocked his door and practically ripped it open, leering at the younger troll dangerously, fangs borne in a silent snarl of frustration, fist clenched against the doorframe.

Karkat bared his teeth, puffing out his chest, bruises and scratches and cuts down his neck and hands from getting challenged to humans in strifes at school, they thinking they’re more powerful. His eyes were locked up at his brother’s, glaring deep into his sockets “How dare I? How about how dare you! You never come out of your fucking room, so what am I supposed to fucking say!”

That’s 6ecause I’m 6USY!” he growled, glaring at Karkat, giving the cuts and bruises a glance before crinkling his nose in disapproval. “Y9u l99k awful, what even happened t9 y9u”

"N-None of your fucking business" He growled, feeling his sleeves on his shirt to pull them to cover his hands and continue glaring at his brother.

Kankri grabbed ahold of Karkat by his shoulder, lifting one of his arms somewhat forcefully and yanking back the sleeve, gazing at the various marks eerily before he locked eyes with his brother again. “Explain”

Karkat looked away “It’s nothing…I just. I don’t ever want to go back to school…Human’s are such fucking assholes…” He muttered, hiding his face with his other hand, glad his brother at least touched him. It’s been forever since he felt his brothers touch.

Even if it was forceful.

Of course, the contact didn’t last long at all before Kankri dropped his arm with a huff of disgust, crossing his arms against his chest and leaning against the doorframe, the door closed most of the way. “Y9u g9t this damaged 6y humans??” he sort of sneered, cocking his head. It had been a long time since he’d interacted with Karkat in such close-quarters, talking face to face instead of growling through doors, so he continued to examine his brother silently, sort of making a mental note of any sorts of changes in him since the last time he remembered actually interacting with the guy.

Karkat huffed “shut up…they travel in packs, idiot. ” He glanced over his brother’s body, trying to ignore the fact of how he felt for him, making a candy red flush dance across his cheeks. He tried to peek into his brother’s room slyly but sighed and ignored it, focusing more on his brother himself “So…”

Kankri quirked a thin, arched brow at the red, lip twitching as he huffed again “Whatever. S9 what d9 y9u want? Are we just g9ing t9 stand here staring each9ther d9wn like a c9uple 9f desperate tr9lls in heat 9r can I get 6ack t9 my w9rk? This is wasting my time.” He knew he was being insensitive, but Karkat had caught him at a really bad time and he was frustrated, so, family or not, he had to take it out on someone, and Karkat just so happened to be not only the source of his frustration, but also, unfortunately for Karkat's sake, the one person close enough to him at the current moment for him to take it out on.

Karkat growled lightly “I needed to ask you something, but now” he arched his voice “iiiiii’m just not going to tell you~” and with, he started his way down the hallway, standing at the stairs and taking his sweet time. This little asshat was going to make cookies without Kankri.

The elder of the two of them simply watched Karkat walk away, eyeing him in silent sick appreciation as he stalked off in a fit. He shrugged and went back into his room, not even bothering to comment, instead focusing on finishing what he was doing - cleaning, sterilizing, and sorting his various sharp instruments and blades in his lovely secret collection. He had a detached appreciation for them, loving the way they shimmered and their delicate, thin edge which could slice nearly anything with ease. He admitted to himself on more than one occasion that it was probably an unhealthy fascination, but he didn’t care. Of course, his calmness while sorting them would be interrupted yet again, the second he caught a whiff of cookies. THAT LITTLE SHIT.

Karkat sighed. After mixing the batter, he took the tray of chocolate chip cookies and slid them into the oven, pumping up the knob to the right temperature and waiting for the cookies to begin their ascension to their phase; done. The aroma drifted though the air, taking Karkat’s scent glands to another world, a bit of saliva dripping from his lips at the thought of ingesting these cookies. He licked his lips and bit the bottom one lightly, waiting right by the oven for the batch to finish baking.

And just like that, there was a loud bang from upstairs before Kankri practically appeared at the top of the stairs without warning, eyes wide, staring down at Karkat intently.

Karkat saw Kankri and chuckled evilly, grinning a Cheshire grin “why hello Kankri, I would have asked you if you wanted any cookies but hmmmmmm….you seemed not to care~” He giggled, taking a cookie from the batch already prepped on the counter and nibbling it.

The words left his lips in a barely audible venomous snarl, “Y9u little shit. N9 9ne makes c99kies with9ut me.” all his calmness from finishing sorting his collection was right out the metaphorical window and his cheeks were the faintest hint of candy red in anger and outrage. He took a lot of things far more seriously than necessary, cookies included. He practically flew down the stairs and stole a bite of the cookie in Karkat’s hand, closing his eyes at the taste and indulging for the faintest moment in chocolaty bliss before his eyes snapped back open and he glared at Karkat in frustration.

Karkat blushed deeply “E-EW YOU INFECTED MY DAMN COOKIE WITH YOUR NASTY CRANKY KANKRI GERMS” he huffed, trying to hide his blush with his shouting. He was a bit childish at times, he did have to admit to himself. Still, he held to plate of cookies to his chest, turning against the counter and huddling over the cookies in a protective manner, adding “I AM THE COOKIE LUSUS. ONLY I EAT MY BABIES”

"Well we’re br9thers s9 we share the same genetics! I must 6e a canni6al then, 6ecause I’m g9ing t9 eat y9ur 6a6ies" he growled, a peculiar expression flickering in his eyes as he said it, before he pressed himself against Karkat’s back juuust long enough to reach around his middle and grab a bunch of them off the tray before running upstairs with his armful of cookies.

Karkat dropped to his knees dramatically. "nOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" and so on. Twas a sad and unfortunate night in the Vantas household. Karkat sat and ate his cookies alone on the kitchen floor, purring once full.

Kankri sat on his bed purring to himself as he ate his clepto’d cookies, closing his eyes and thinking about how Karkat had felt pressed against him for that brief moment. When he’d finished indulging in his sick little fantasy and had eaten the cookies, he licked his fingers clean of any stray chocolate before exiting his room again to wander back over to the stairwell and seat himself on the top stair, waiting for the second batch.

Karkat, seeing Kankri at the top of the stairs, narrowed his , calling up to him in mock-offense and hurt “Did you enjoy my babies?” Currently, he was working on the second batch, repairing his army of babies.

Kankri growled again, albeit almost playfully this time, and cracked into a somewhat insane smile that was far too accurate to be a normal impersonation, before chuckling low in his throat. “I’m rearing and ready t9 claim the rest 9f y9ur preci9us 9ffspring” He cocked one brow before adding “This is what y9u get f9r making 6a6ies with9ut me.”

Karkat gasped “noooooo I’m sorry…..kinda.. just kidding ” he chuckled, hands covered in batter, some stuck to his cheek “but I could use your help” He continued to ball the dough, putting it on the pan and then moving to the next ball of dough and so on.

He shrugged and stood up, coming downstairs to assess the situation, clicking his tongue and commenting “9h, s9 y9u didn’t make ALL 9f them with9ut me, after all? What d9 y9u need help with?” he looked his brother over again before focusing on the batter, deciding that was more than enough of his own less than acceptable behaviour for the evening. He was never this perverse, making such crude jokes. He blamed the lack of sleep for it, though.

Karkat blinked a bit before gesturing to the dough “help me put it on the pan” He said, eyes tired, looking eerily akin to his brother's. Too many nights with Insomnia as a fucking friendly metaphorical blanket, covering everything you know in a suffocating layer of darkness.

"Fine" he shrugged, taking the dough and rolling it to the right size bit by bit, setting the little dough-balls onto the pan. If there was one thing that made Kankri act rather docile still nowadays despite his radically feral moodswings and temper, it was making chocolate chip cookies.

As soon as the cookies were all on the pan, Karkat looked at Kankri, the mischievous glimmer in his eyes telling Kankri the cookies needed to go into the oven and out of Karkat's reach before the younger troll ended up just saying fuck it and eating the dough raw right off the pan out of impatience. Karkat smiled a bit and licked some dough off of his own hands, purring at the heavenly taste and managing to wordlessly confirm Kankri's suspicion.

Kankri just kind of rolled his eyes and popped the tray in the oven. Meanwhile, Karkat sucked on one of his fingers, trying to contain the suggestive way his tongue twirled around the digit, a blush coming to his cheeks.

"Y9u’d 6etter wash y9ur hands 6ef9re y9u t9uch any 9f these when they c9me 9ut, s9 help me, I’m n9t having y9u get y9ur spit 9n this fresh 6atch" Kankri grunted, intentionally looking away from his brother, brows furrowing a bit as his frustration began pooling up a bit again.

"No, I’m going to lick every last one of them" He said, an evil chuckle erupting from his throat

Kankri bristled a little and growled protectively, shuffling to wedge himself between where Karkat was standing, and the oven, blocking it so he’d get first access.

Karkat growled, wrapping his arms around Kankri and trying to move him away

"N9 way, n9t happening…!" he hissed, feet firmly planted as he squirmed in Karkat’s arms, trying to get the younger troll off of himself. He didn’t want to be touched, and he DEFINITELY wasn’t moving out of this spot and letting Karkat get to these ones first.

Karkat chuckled, pressing up against his back in an effort of getting a better grip on Kankri to move him

Kankri spun around to face him, bracing his back against the stove and pressing most of his weight forward, trying to pry Karkat off of him

Karkat blushed a bit, only pressing harder against Kankri ” I REFUSE TO MOVE” he said, blush spreading across his cheeks from the tension from pushing

"Get 9ff…!" Kankri snarled in his face, pressing himself harder against Karkat. He’d just shove him aside usually, but he was trying not to add to the damage the boy had come home with. Like hell he’d deal with listening to Karkat complain for the next week or so, if he ended up bruising him worse.

Karkat growled, pushing up against Kankri, holding him against the counter “Fuck. No.”

S9 much f9r y9u 6eing hurt” he sneered, pressing practically his entire body hard against Karkat’s

Karkat felt himself being pushed back, grunting and pushes hard again until he smelt the done cookies and stopped

Kankri remained stubbornly in place between Karkat and the oven, and practically ground himself against his brother when he pushed him off of himself with a fluid rolling motion of his body. he turned back to face the oven, leaning down a bit and opening it just a crack, releasing a fresh, strong wave of the rich warm scent into the room

Karkat sniffed at the air, whining “Kankriiiiiii” he tried to move around to the other side of the oven

He bit his lip at the way Karkat whined his name, and shook his head, partially to get the though out, and also to express his refusal to move until karkat washed his hands.

Karkat whined a bit more, making grabby hands for the cookies “P-Ppleaseeeeeeeeeee”

"Wash y9ur hands first, I refuse t9 have y9ur saliva tainting this fresh 6atch!" he said, quite matter-of-fact-ly.

Karkat growled before stepping back to the sink and washing his hands before drying them “Happy now!?”

"The sass was entirely unnecessary. 6ut I am certainly at least m9re c9ntent n9w, yes. Thank y9u. Was that s9 imp9ssi6ly hard?" he curled his lip a little and opened the oven back up, darting his hands in and snatching the hot tray, burning himself pretty badly in the process, before gently setting the tray down on top of the stove and taking one of the hot cookies, biting into it happily despite the half a batch already in his stomach from the first round.

saw how Kankri grabbed the pan and smacked him on the back of the head “FUCKASS! don’t hurt yourself idiot! Gog….” He sighed, rubbing his own temples in frustration “Are you alright, you dented Thinkpan?”

Kankri growled when smacked, and swatted Karkat in return, leaving a smear of vibrant crimson on him from the sear-marks on his hands. “I’m perfectly fine, and watch y9ur language!” Kankri finished that cookie and snatched another one, ignoring how his palms were bleeding on it as he ate it.

Karkat growled deeply, gripping his hands and dragging him to the bathroom, turning on the sink and putting his hands under it. He then started to wrap Kankri’s hands in medical bandages. This troll had a strange way of showing his love, but atleast he was trying

Kankri hissed, not in pain, simply in protest. He didn’t care about the burns. He just wanted more of the cookies, while they were still hot and fresh and wonderful. He pulled his hands away, staring at the bandaging. “I said I was fine.”

"well, you lied" He said simply, washing the blood smeared on his own cheek off. He sighed before mumbling "Go have the cookies, I don’t need any" He then simply walked off. A VANTAS….NOT NEEDING COOKIES!??! NOT!? oh no. Karkat was in the mood. The mood as in ‘I WILL LIGHT YOU ON FIRE AND WEAR YOUR ENTRAILS AS A HAT WHILE USING YOUR BLOOD AS SYRUP ON MY PANCAKES’ mood.

He sighed and grumbled, walking into the nutrition block and grabbing a few cookies, before wandering back off to follow Karkat. That Vantas just didn’t know he needed cookies. But Kankri had absolutely full intent to feed him some, even if it meant getting his fingers bitten off in the process.

Karkat, noticing Kankri now following him grunted and ran up to his own room, shutting the door. He did not want to be force fed.

Kankri just raised a brow and wandered over to karkat’s door, knocking on it.

"Go away Kankri" Karkat sounded through the door, not needing to be bothered

"Karkat, 9pen up. C’m9n…." he tried to keep his voice level and relatively calm, making an odd mental note about how this situation was familiar.

"No. I refuse." He said, leaning against the door

"Karkat." he repeated curtly, knocking on it again

Karkat growled, slowly opened the door a crack to eye him through it “what do you want?”

"Let me in…?" he asked almost softly, raising a brow

Karkat sneered “fine” before opening the door to him

Kankri blinked and nodded, entering, before almost immediately pinning Karkat down onto the bed and sitting on his hips to keep him pinned.

"No Vantas turns d9wn c99kies."

Karkat gasped and struggled lightly “K-KANKRI WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK!!” He was blushing from the pressure on his hips.

"Language, karkat. And y9u heard me. I’m n9t letting y9u st9rm 9ff in a huff with9ut c99kies, and I’m certainly n9t g9ing t9 eat them all myself." he deposited his armful of cookies onto Karkat’s chest and kept his hips firmly in place, using his now free hands to pin Karkat’s wrists above his head as well

Karkat growled lightly, glaring at Kankri “Sheesh, I don’t WANT any! Gog, what can you NOT understand?” Karkat = crabby at the moment. Super crabby. His cheeks were deeply flushed from Kankri holding him in such a position. He tried to push against Kankri’s grip on his wrists, but failed and did not achieve what he was hoping for

"Y9u’re awfully red" he commented, ignoring the little outburst entirely. It was then Kankri made a decision. His arms were occupied at the moment, but he needed a way to feed Karkat. He shrugged and leaned down, maintaining the firm pin, and picked up one of the cookies off Karkat’s chest with his teeth before leaning forward and pressing the edge of the cookie against Karkat’s lips, growling a bit.

turned his cheek away, trying to ignore Kankri “Stop it!” He growled lightly. He huffed a bit, not wanting to cause a scene for Kankri but this was the last straw. No one can hold down the wild Karkat!….maybe Kankri…BUT STILL…Karkat decided this for the worst and thrust his hips up against Kankri’s growling deeply, trying to make him uncomfortable.

"Take the g9gdamn c99kie and quit trying t9 get me 9ff 9f y9u" he growled, somewhat muffled by the cookie between his lips, which he continued to nudge and poke Karkat with, trying to get him to take it

Karkat growled before giving in and nibbling on the cookie, feeling shame at his failed attempt.

Kankri remained in his awkward position, leaning over, cookie still between his lips as Karkat nibbled on it instead of just taking the damned thing

Karkat intended to embarrass Kankri for what he had done, embarrassing Karkat by holding him in such an awkward position. He continued to nibble at the cookie until there was a little bit of it left and he leaned up, kissing Kankri and finishing the cookie. He then pulled back, smirking evilly.

The elder Vantas simply stared at him, eyes narrowing at the inappropriate contact, and hissed “Y9u’re sick in the pan, I h9pe y9u kn9w that. Disgusting”, cheeks mildly red from shock. “Check y9ur privileges” he growled, leaning down and snatching another cookie off his chest and forcing it into his mouth half-way, letting go of it with his teeth once Karkat’s mouth was temporarily occupied with the cookie

Karkat only chuckled and started to eat the cookie and licked his lips, looking at Kankri “Oh? sick in the pan? what about you?”

"What A69UT me?" he sneered, cocking his head to the side and tightening his grip on Karkat’s wrists

Karkat hissed lightly “Avoiding social interaction all the time, never leaving your room, pinning your little wriggling partner in such a triggering position…I think you may have triggered me. Nope, I am sure. I am so very….very triggered, Kankri. ” Karkat started to fake the tears “I thought you were the guardian of the righteous leggings and Triggers Kankri, but you have failed and triggered your own Wriggling Partner!”

His eyes narrowed further, glowering dangerously in fury, knowing Karkat was intentionally trying to mess with his pan and guilt-trip him. “This isn’t triggering, y9u little liar. N9, 9h n9 n9 n9, n9w THIS w9uld 6e triggering” he snarls, intentionally grinding his hips down against Karkat so their groins were pressed hard against eachother for a brief moment, before he stood up and got off of him, leaving the rest of the cookies on his chest, exiting his room and slamming the door shut behind him, wandering back to his own room and locking himself in to take care of his frustrations.

Karkat flushed deeply, groaning for a moment. He watched Kankri take his leave and sat there on the bed, just laying there in shock. “holy…” Karkat had no words for what had just happened, but damn he could care less about talking. He just wanted more. Gog damnit, he thought, Kankri you little asswipe!

Kankri on the other hand was furious, steaming in his room, and he decided to vent his frustrations by planning a theoretical perfect kill scenario. Not of Karkat, of course, but still. The cocky little shit, trying to make him seem like some sort of hypocrite…. even if he sort of WAS one

Karkat sighed, taking the cookies off his chest and walking to look out of his Respiteblock window. He leaned on his elbow, face in his hand as he watched the trolls strolling by.

Kankri, having already designed his little theoretical situation, closed the notebook he’d written it in, and flopped down onto his own bed, still rather angry, though he was calming down gradually.

Karkat sighed, watching the trolls until he noticed something…The pink monkeys…Oh no…He didn’t want to tell Kankri in fear of getting the shit beat out of him, so he whined a bit and crouched, trying to hide the best he could as he heard the painful shouts of insults hurled at him.

Kankri, in his room, was laying with his eyes closed, just kind of listening to everything, when he heard a ruckus from outside of the hive. He twitched in annoyance

When he felt a rock hurled at his head, he cried out. He slowly regained his balance and whimpered as he felt the wet warm mass of his mutant blood draining down his face

With a snarl at hearing Karkat’s pained noise down the hall, Kankri stood up off his bed and left his room, storming downstairs and out of the hive, making a beeline right toward the pink-skinned noise-makers, fuming with anger at them and snarling dangerously.

Karkat suddenly saw Kankri and gasped. Boy, did he look pissed. The humans chuckled and mused “oh, a bigger beep beep meow? What a threat.” Karkat whined, watching in fear from above

The normally relatively docile Vantas didn’t hesitate to bark out “It’s KANKRI, LEARN Y9UR G9GDAMNED PLACE” and deck one of them square in the face with a growl, kicking another in their stomach then kneeing their face when they bent in half from the kick. He leered dangerously at the others; still fuming, far too pissed to care that he was acting entirely against his usual ways

Karkat watched, eyes widening. The humans, all now scared shitless, took off in a sprint to get away from this ‘Kankri’ person. Karkat felt himself getting a bit woozy from his head injury and held onto the wall for balance

Kankri simply stood there, human blood dripping down his knuckles, and he cracked his knuckles, licking the blood off of them before it could seep into the gauze Karkat had wrapped around his burns. He turned around to face the hive and catching a glimpse of Karkat, noticing a concerning amount of bright red on him. He grumbled under his breath in concern, briskly walking back into the hive and heading quickly upstairs, into the bathroom first to get the medical kit, before heading straight toward Karkat’s room

Upon Kankri’s entering, Karkat smiled innocently “sorry…I didn’t mean to cause trouble..” He muttered, even though the humans had started it. He chuckled lightly “Really? how much MORE trouble can I get into..?”

"Just shut up and h9ld still" he grumbled, approaching Karkat and assessing the damage, before getting to work silently cleaning him up, sterilizing, and bandaging his forehead.

Karkat huffed a bit but let his older brother do the work he needed to do. After he was cleaned up and Bandaged he mumbled “Trigger warning: personal space intrusion…” before hugging Kankri

Kankri tensed up for a moment, veeery much tempted to shove him off, but relaxed a little and decided against it, wrapping his arms gently around the smaller Vantas protectively. “….whatever. At least y9u tagged it….”

Karkat purred lightly, nuzzling into his brother’s chest, enjoying the feeling of the other’s sweater. He looked up at Kankri, smiling lightly.

Kankri didn’t smile, but for the first time in a while, he wasn’t frowning either. He simply stared at Karkat with tired eyes “…. y9u alright?”

Karkat nodded a bit “yes…you?”

"peachy" he grunted in return.

Karkat pursed his lips “suuuure” He chuckled lightly, nuzzling against Kankri again. They hadn’t ever been this close since….since hatching….

Kankri didn’t nuzzle, he just sat there, arms around Karkat in a loose-yet-protective embrace, remaining silent

Karkat, taking his time, slowly wiggled out of Kankri’s arms “…you know you don’t have to hate me Kankri…I mean, I am your wriggling buddy… It’s not like I’d tell anyone you actually showed emotion for at least three seconds besides anger and sadness…”

He was silent for a bit longer before he spoke. “I distance myself t9 keep y9u safe.” it was almost eerie, the lingering sense of some dark secret meaning to it, but he didn’t faulter in any way when he said it.

Karkat whined a bit “But you know I….I just…” he sighed “you realize this is the first time you’ve touched me, besides hitting me and force feeding me. Kankri…I-I don’t care…I want to have you in my life, more than just fighting over cookies..”

He simply shook his head in disagreement. “N9t a g99d idea, Karkat….”

Karkat covered his face, feeling his eyes starting to water “I don’t care how much you reject me, I am your wriggling buddy and that will never change…”

“N9thing wr9ng with y9u, Karkat. We just aren’t meant t9 interact much. Y9u’re safest when I keep my distance.” he shrugged, standing back up and offering his hand to help Karkat back up

Karkat sighed, taking his hand. After being pulled up, he sniffled and wiped at his cheek. He walked over and sat on his bed, clicking on the tv to watch a RomCom, “I understand…” he stated simply, watching the two trolls in the movie dance together in a ball room romantically, losing his attention. He looked at Kankri for a moment before smiling lightly “I’m okay…If you don’t want me to get hurt, then that’s fine. I understand”

“D9 y9u really” he asked, quirking a brow, expression still mostly blank, though his eyes almost seemed sad

Karkat nodded lightly, voice almost a whisper “…yeah…” his eyes watered a bit as he looked away “now if you will take your leave…I have things I need to do…”

"…. Aright." in a rare, graceful moment of emotion, he leaned down and placed a soft kiss against the bandaging around Karkat’s head, before picking up the medical kit and leaving the room

Karkat smiled lightly, lips twitching in sadness. As soon as Kankri had left the room, Karkat felt the first few tears fall from his eyes. He could no longer hold in this raging river of tears. He sobbed as he laid against the wall. So many feelings he had felt for his brother….so many…

Kankri put away the medical kit and wandered down the hall into his room, closing the door and slumping down against the wall, mind heavy, heart heavier. He didn’t want to hurt his brother….

Karkat couldn’t stand the pain. He had to take his mind off of it…slowly, he unbuttoned his pants, seeing his bulge respond to the cold air and rise out of his pants. “G-Gog….I can’t believe I have to resort to this…” he choked out behind a sob as he slowly gripped his bulge and started pumping.

He closed his eyes, leaning against the wall that conjoined his room with Karkat’s, and listened to his brother, his heart heavy with longing and stress and sorrow.

Karkat huffed, wiping away some tears as he muttered “I want to be, for even just once…Be the reason you smile.. I want to be someone you desire so much, you’d even break your damn vow just to touch me…” he felt his hand getting sticky with the pre genetic material, getting wetter each moment

Kankri sighed sadly, tears stinging in his eyes, and listened to Karkat’s muffled voice through the wall, speaking softly to himself as he listened. “…. Every night I hear y9u cry 9ver this nameless pers9n…. I 9nly wish…. I…. I’d 9ffer my assistance in a heart6eat, if y9u didn’t hate me s9 much….” he shook his head, a tear escaping in frustration as he tried to convince himself it was better that he didn’t try getting close to his brother in such a way

After Karkat had climaxed, he curled up in a ball by the wall, sobbing into his hands, ashamed for his self-pailing. He never thought he’d be the one doing it, but he didn’t care anymore.

The celibate shook his head, allowing anxiety and grief to overtake him as he slumped down onto the floor and just lay there, listening to the haunting sounds of Karkat’s sobs, hating himself for not knowing what to do or how to help the other, emotionally.

Karkat, eventually had felt himself drift off to sleep. His mind hurt and his eyes stung, not to mention the tension pulling at his heart, but he somehow managed to dream himself into a dream bubble.

As the sobs dies down, a troubled, uneasy sleep overtook Kankri’s tired mind as he passed into his own dream bubble, finding himself opening his eyes to his room in the bubble, where he was laying peacefully in bed…. without clothing. He blinked tiredly as his dream self awoke, and vaguely wondered why he wasn’t wearing any pants, at least.

Karkat, feeling something move beside him, blinked his eyes open to find the naked Kankri beside him “K-K….K-…” He blushed deeply, covering his eyes

He looked over to his side and was pleasantly surprised to see Karkat there beside him. Oh. He couldn’t remember ever having dreamt about Karkat so vividly before. Shrugging and deeming it innocent enough, he wrapped his arms around the dream-self of his brother and pulled him against his own bare chest, purring softly, eyes closing again as he relaxed.

Karkat sighed, hugging at Kankri’s middle half. He purred lightly back, looking up at Kankri “Why the sudden hugs…?” he asked, blush fading a bit

"Y9u’re the m9st realistic 9ne I think I’ve ever managed t9 enc9unter in this dream-w9rld" he hummed softly, never once thinking this one might actually be mentally connected to the real Karkat in their waking-world.

Karkat, a bit confused, shrugged it off “okay…? hmm…why are you naked..?”

"Dunn9 and d9n’t care…. shhh…. I d9n’t want y9u t9 fade like the last many have whenever I try t9 talk t9 them…." he purred a bit more before commenting "…. why are y9u N9T naked…?"

Karkat blushed a little bit “well….um….I can be if you want..?”

"g99d plan" he hummed softly, slipping his hands up under the Karkat’s shirt and rubbing his skin softly, smiling

Karkat blushed a lot more but slowly took off his own shirt, starting to unbutton his own pants

Kankri was still smiling softly, quite happy to help Karkat out of his pants, then he hooked his thumbs beneath the waistband of Karkat’s underwear and slowly began to lower those as well. Such a bother, fabric like that, getting in the way of his snuggling time

Karkat bit his lower lip, purring a bit. When he was finally naked, he hid his face, embarrassed.

Kankri purred softly, pulling the now bare Karkat against himself again happily, deciding this was certainly one of the most pleasant dreams in a long time. “Why s9 shy, d9ll…? Y9u’ve g9t n9thing y9u need t9 hide fr9m me…” he spoke softly and affectionately, not at all like when he was awake and interacting with his actual brother

"B-because I’ve never been this exposed to you…" he said, purring louder when pulled closer. He nuzzled his head into the crook of Kankri’s neck lightly

"mmm…. and? Y9u d9n’t need t9 6e s9 nerv9us, Karkles, I’m n9t g9ing t9 harm y9u" he nuzzled the younger Vantas affectionately, body warm and smooth against Karkat’s

Karkat bit his lower lip a bit, running a hand down Kankri’s chest “O-okay…I trust you..”

He purred happily, not making any more whatsoever to stop Karkat from touching him. “Thank y9u”

Karkat nuzzled into the crook of Kankri’s neck, nipping lightly at his shoulder and neck

 

Kankri purrs and arched his neck, allowing Krkat access, arms around his waist happily “mmmm….”

Karkat purred deeply, seeing the access given, he took a chance and left butterfly kisses all the way up to kankri’s ear, pulling lightly at it then moving back down his neck to his chest.

Kankri sighed happily at the tender, gentle contact, blushing softly, eyes closing as he tried to imagine Karkat actually willingly doing this with him back at their home.

"Kankri…?" he asked lightly, looking him in the eye "I…need to ask you something.."

He opened his eyes and gazed at the Karkat in his arms. “hmm….?”

"I…I have taken this into thought….many of times…But now, it just seems easier to ask…" He paused "I-I…" he flushed a bit "I have always felt red for you. When in my times of darkness, you where there to carry me through the depression. My only light was you when I had been trapped in the dark for so….oh so long…I felt the ground slipping under me and I couldn’t grasp anyone else, but you. you left your hand out to save me…Kankri, I’ve fallen for you like I’ve fallen down a giant stair case….will you b-be my matesprit..?" He asked, hiding his flushing face in his hands.

Kankri lay there, gazing at him for a while, a soft smile on his lips. e closed his eyes and sighed “…. damn this w9rld f9r 6eing a dream.” he mumbled to himself quietly before opening his eyes again. “Karkat, I w9uld a6s9lutely l9ve t9 6e y9ur matesprit…. y9u are my everything, my universe, and I 9nly wish t9 keep y9u safe and happy, and if that means I am f9rtunate en9ugh t9 have y9ur affecti9n in the meanwhile…? H9w c9uld I ever say n9?”

Karkat smiled, eyes watering a bit in happiness “Who said I was part of this dream..?” and with that, he crashed his lips against Kankri’s, flushing deeply. He hoped Kankri wouldn’t regret anything…

Kankri didn’t really know what Karkat meant by that comment, but he smiled, blushing as he happily locked lips with Karkat, holding him close lovingly

Karkat purred wildly into the kiss, tonguing at Kankri’s lips lightly

Kankri purred just as enthusiastically, parting his lips, his tongue darting out and gently brushing against Karkat’s the immediate moment it had the chance

Karkat tasted over and about Kankri’s tongue, feeling his do the same. He climbed over Kankri, not once parting the kiss, and straddled him, nipping at his tongue lightly

The elder Vantas groaned happily into the kiss, not a single complaint on his mind when he was straddled and nipped, his own hands trailing up Karkat’s sides gently, their tongues rubbing enthusiastically against eachother. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to indulge in what he believed to be a sinful fantasy

Karkat pulled back from the kiss, panting a bit as he looked down at Kankri. He had already felt himself getting aroused each minute they were together “K-Kankri….?” he panted out “w-would you like to mate…? I mean…A-after all It is just a dream~”

A slow smile spread across his lips “I’d l9ve that” he purred happily, unafraid to let go of his self control in the dreamscape. Here in the dream-world, he didn’t bother to control his body’s reactions, and was rather shamelessly becoming aroused. It felt incredible, honestly, after so many sweeps of celibacy in the real world, to finally allow himself to feel arousal and desire again.

Karkat smiled a bit, kissing Kankri lightly “would you like to top or bottom, my dear~?” he purred out

"Wh9 says we need t9 ch99se? We’ve g9t all the time in the w9rld" he simply smiled, kissing back lightly

Karkat smiled fully, nuzzling against Kankri “Okay~”

Kankri purred softly, smiling up at him, and pressed himself up against his brother gently, in no hurry whatsoever. He wanted to enjoy this for as long as he could manage to stay asleep, before he woke to the harsh reality that awaited him at home

Karkat purred lightly, nuzzling at Kankri’s neck. He pressed as close as he could to Kankri, enjoying the feeling of being loved

"mmm…. Karkat y9u’re s9 warm" he sighed softly

Karkat chuckled “you have the perfect body temperature kankri~”

The simple sound of what was essentially his brother’s voice, saying such things to him made him wish he could stay in this dream bubble for longer than he knew was realistic. Things were so much easier here. Here he didn’t need to worry about Karkat finding out about his feelings, and he didn’t have to worry about his vows or about hurting the younger boy.

Karkat sighed, purring louder and licking Kankri’s cheek “so~ whatcha thinkin’~?”

"Just thinking a69ut h9w nice it is here" he answered honestly, blushing softly at the lick, and smiling up at his new dream-bubble matesprit.

"here..? what about home?" he asked, nuzzling his matesprit lightly, confused as to why Kankri thought he was a dream still

"Things are s9 c9mplicated when I’m awake…. I c9uld never h9ld my 6r9ther like this…. " His voice softened and his lip quivered the tiniest bit as a pang of sorrow hit him and he closed his eyes, brows furrowing a little bit

Karkat whimpered a bit before kissing him lightly “what if I said you could…” he wanted to comfort Kankri, so he started to rub around the base of his horns and down, tucking some hair behind his ear

He responded to the kiss, kissing back softly and nuzzling gently into the hands that rubbed at his horns and toyed gently with his hair, eyes still closed, voice soft. “…. I wish it were that simple….”

"How so?" He asked, resting his head on Kankri’s shoulder, breathing slowly

"I just…. I can’t 6e this cl9se with him…. I’m danger9us…." he murmured softly, finding it a hell of a lot easier to let bits and pieces of his secrets slip when he was talking to this karkat in the dream bubble, still entirely unaware of his realness. He did vaguely wonder if this Karkat saw him as just another dream-bubble Kankri, much like he saw this Karkat as.

"Well…I don’t care if you’re dangerous…I would do anything to be with you….there were so many nights I cried over you…. never being noticed…" he whimpered at the memory and hid his face in Kankri’s neck, huffing a bit. Karkat seemed to know this Kankri had a realness to him, but figured Kankri thought he was a dream

"…. It’s s9 much easier t9 9pen up t9 y9u…. 6ut him…. he d9esn’t even kn9w what I d9…. I hear him crying s9 many nights and I just wish I c9uld 6e the 9ne t9 c9mf9rt him…. I really d9…. 6ut I…. I can’t d9 it, I have t9 keep my distance…." he mumbled softly and pulled Karkat’s warm body closer to his own, relishing the feeling of their warm skin in such gently yet intimate contact, trying to memorize the sensation

Karkat kissed lightly at kankri’s neck “shhhh~ I’m sure if you…talked to him, he would understand, after all, all Karkat’s are connected. Maybe he feels the same way I do for you”

"…. I d9u6t it…." he sighed somewhat sadly and arched his neck, greatful atleast for the gentle contact from Karkat’s lips

Karkat nipped lightly at kankri’s soft spot “dont be so negatiiive~” He chuckled “look on the bright side, what if he admits…? keep your eye on him, he might just show you how he feels by his actions.” Karkat purred out

Kankri allowed a soft groan to escape in enjoyment, weakly shaking his head “n-n9…. even if 6y s9me miracle he did d9 s9mething 9f the s9rt, I can’t 6e this cl9se t9 him…. I can’t endanger him like that….” he insisted, eyes opening gently

Karkat sighed “Kankri. I can’t stand to see you so moved by him…just… “Karkat groaned ” fuck, I don’t know”

"…….. what d9 y9u mean….?" he asked softly, looking up at the other with a sad concern

"you obviously need and want him… I can hear it in your voice. Your eyes are clouded in deep though and sadness. Do what you want. Let free for once, Kankri."

I just want t9 keep him safe…. especially fr9m myself….” he couldn’t deny he wanted his brother, no…. that was entirely true, and he wasn’t ashamed of it, at least, not here in the dream bubbles. but he was too conservative in nature to let himself have that indulgence.

I understand…just don’t pain yourself more than you already have. it hurts me to see you in pain.” he sighed, kissing his nose lightly

He nodded a little and reached up, guiding Karkat to meet his lips instead, relaxing a bit at the soft contact.

Karkat kissed him back, holding him in the kiss. He adjusted his position a bit, using Kankri for a bit of support in the straddling/laying position

Kankri held onto him lovingly, almost desperately, needing this precious contact more than anything, since he knew the second he awoke, it’s be out of the question by his own standards to even think about doing anything like this. Karkat’s warmth against his hips and the soft skin contact made him shiver slightly as he relaxed his body to the contact

Karkat blushed lightly, slowly bringing his hands up to grip he other’s horns lightly before rubbing them gently. he tongued at Kankri’s lips a bit, fighting the urge to roll his own hips over Kankri’s.

Kankri’s cheeks tinted a warm red gently as he shivered when his horns were grabbed and rubbed, lips parting and tongue gently flicking out to rub against Karkat’s

Karkat blushed and bit at kankri’s lower lip, pulling lightly outwards before releasing and repeating the action a few times.

His lip swelled slightly from the attention, cheeks warm with a darker blush than before, and against his own better judgment, he shyly pressed his hips up against Karkat’s

Karkat blushed deeper, biting his own lower lip as he felt kankri’s hips press to his own. slowly, he pushed back against Kankri’s, adding a bit of pressure

"a-aahh…." he elicited a soft sound of pleasure, eyes fluttering shut as he shyly increased the pressure, his hips and loins hot with the threat of arousal, since he’s been, as of yet, keeping his body under control

"mmmmn~" He purred out to his matesprit, slowly starting to grind on the other’s hips, needing the ‘attention’

Kankri whined softly in pleasure, slowly allowing himself to grind back up against Karkat, still forcing his bulge to remain under control, though he didn’t think he’d be able to maintain that control for much longer

Karkat groaned, starting to pick up the pace, grinding a bit harder. he had contained himself for as long as he could, but that time was long over now

"K-Karkat, nnnghh…." he stammered out softly in warning as his self control slipped away beneath the friction karkat was creating, and the second he let go of his control over his body, his bulge immediately writhed to attention for the first time in countless sweeps, eagerly pressing up against Karkat as Kankri rocked his hips upward to meet the grinding and add to it

Karkat moaned, slowly starting to tease Kankri’s bulge with his nook, circling his hips around the other’s bulge and pulling up a bit when it attempted to enter.

The teasing was something entirely new and foreign to the normally celibate troll, and he moaned tenderly, grinding up against him, biting his lip to keep himself quiet as his bulge tried to work it’s way into Karkat with every chance it got

Karkat paused for a moment, slowly starting to lower himself onto Kankri’s bulge, getting a bit impatient. he had wanted his for so long…

The elder Vantas let out a wanton sound of surprise and intense pleasure as Karkat sank himself down around his bulge, which writhed eagerly up in him in response. He’d only ever imagined this sensation before, but in this bubble, at long last, he was getting to feel it for himself. He panted in enjoyment, cheeks vibrant, hands somewhat shakily coming up to hold Karkat’s hips in place as he lay there, trying to recover his breath from surprise at the sensation

Once Karkat had finally gotten Kankri’s bulge inside him, he huffed and whined a bit at the tight feeling he wasn’t so used to. he felt tears brimming his eyes as he sat for a moment, trying to adjust to Kankri

Given his relative age, Kankri was actually pretty damn big in that area, and to him, even with no prior experience, he knew Karkat felt TIGHT around him. He whined softly, keeping himself as still as possible as it gently writhed within Karkat. “shhh….hhhh….. it’s a-aahhhh…. it’s alright, Karkat…. d-d9n’t m9ve until y-y9u’re alright….”

Karkat nodded lightly, waiting a few moments as he felt the tension relieving. He gave a test move as he moved on and off Kankri’s bulge, moaning a bit. He panted and started to move his hips faster

Kankri moaned wantonly, eyes wrenching shut at the sensations that poured through his body as Karkat began riding him, his bulge eagerly writhing and knotting itself up within Karkat, the tip flicking against his deeper reaches as Kankri managed to get just enough control in his body to thrust up into him and meet the motions to deepen their transaction, legs trembling with the new sensations

Karkat moaned out as they started to meet each other’s movements. Slowly, he began to circle his hips while riding Kankri, giving a whole new feeling “F-fuck~~” He panted out

He just nodded breathlessly in agreement with the comment, the circling of karkat’s hips adding a new sensation to the way he was receiving pleasure as well. He was panting slightly already, body sensitive

Karkat felt the sweat beading on his body, moving faster. He loved this new sensation, taking it into granted when he felt his stomach knot. “k-Kankri~~!” he mewled

Kankri squirmed and panted underneath him, meeting his every motion passionately, skin beading up with a thin sheen of sweat, heat pooling low in his abdomen as he moaned for Karkat

Karkat was a whimpering and moaning mess, close to climaxing. His nook was already super slick with precum, making an occasional ‘shhlick’ sound with each thrust from how aroused he was.

Kankri was unable to give any warning whatsoever before releasing hard and hot, genetic material rushing up into Karkat as he groaned Karkat’s name hoarsely, the sounds of their bodies sliding together, on top of everything else, having sent him tipping over the edge, trembling and blushing crimson.

Karkat cried out at the sudden filling before spewing his own genetic material from both his nook and bulge. He panted hard, resting for a second before pulling off of Kankri, genetic material dripping out of him, and flopping down next to him.

Kankri simply lay there, gasping for air, covering his face partially in heavy embarrassment over his inability to control himself, though damn it had felt amazing. When he’d managed to mostly catch his breath, he cracked his eye open and gazed at karkat, smiling breathlessly and lipping the single word “w9w”

Karkat chuckled, panting a little less harder. “heh…enjoy that~?”

"H-h9ly shit…." he didn’t even hesitate to let the profanity escape before he chuckled breathlessly, unable to believe what he was about to ask. "…. H9w much energy d9 y9u still h-have….?"

He smirked, licking his lips “as much as you want~ let me guess, you want filled too~?” he quirked an eyebrow

"T-take me and make me y9urs" he purred softly, face still vibrant, body trembling slightly.

Karkat slowly pulled Kankri into position, laying in front of him as Karkat positioned at his entrance. His bulge unsheathed, wriggling about before sliding into Kankri

His breath caught in his throat and he groaned at the sensation of being stretched and filled, nook already generously slick with arousal.

Karkat bit his own lip when inside him fully, feeling his appendage wriggling and squirming inside the wet, hot, tight nook.

Kankri’s eyes were stinging with tears simply because he was unaccustomed to anything being down there, but he relaxed himself, body slowly easing up a bit to the intruding length, then he nodded to karkat to signify he was ready

Karkat kissed Kankri’s cheek, starting to move in and out of him, groaning lightly

He purred softly at the kiss, body trembling as the new sensations filled his already hyper-sensitive body, making him moan out gently

Karkat was being gentle not wanting to hurt him, going

He really appreciated how gentle Karkat was being with him, and expressed his gratitude in the form of soft breathy moans and gentle rocking of his hips to meet the thrusts

Karkat groaned deeply, a purr mixed into his pleasure. he kissed Kankri deeply and full of passion. slowly, he ran a finger across one of his grubular assets, testing if they were sensitive

Hooooooo boy were they sensitive, and he squirmed slightly, gasping a soft quiet sound of surprise at the touch as he responded to the kiss with equal passion, continuing to gently rock himself to meet Karkat’s movements

Karkat purred into the kiss, lightly tracing a finger around his little grubby legs. He felt himself getting closer to his climax

Kankri was pretty close again himself, still sensitive and edgy, body reacting intensely to the stimulus he was receiving from both sources. He mewled and wrapped his arms around Karkat, holding him close

Karkat held him back, thrusting a bit faster “a-ahhh I think I’m gonna spill~~~” he moaned out

"G-g9 f9r it….I’m c-cl9se" he panted, rocking faster to meet the thrusts, reveling in the wet slick sound that was starting to become audible again

 

Karkat mewled out, spewing his genetic material into Kankri, riding out his orgasm with small thrusts

Kankri moaned tenderly at the hot sensation of being filled, body clenching around karkat as he rode out his orgasm, the mixed barrage of sensations sending him over into another orgasm, genetic material dribbling from his nook and spurting from his bulge, making a mess along his torso.

Karkat slowed to a stop, panting hard before removing himself from Kankri and resting on him

Kankri wrapped his arms around Karkat, panting still a bit, cheeks warm with a content glow as he purred softly, holding his brother close to him, loving the way they felt against eachother. He really didn’t want to wake up.

Karkat sighed, biting into kankri’s neck, leaving a wound deep enough to scar. “mine” He stated before baring his neck to Kankri

Kankri hissed in pain but didn’t pull away, hesitating, unwanting to harm Karkat in any way. He leaned in and pressed a tender kiss to karkat’s neck, hesitating again before sinking his own teeth into the soft flesh, marking him as his own. He pulled back and lapped at any blood that may have bubbled up from the punctures, purring softly “I’m y9urs, yes, and y9u are mine….”

Karkat purred deeply, nuzzling into him. “Flushed for you so Gog damn hard Kankri” he felt himself starting to wake up and sighed

He nuzzled back gently, lovingly, muttering “flushed f9r y9u t99…. I wish I didn’t have t9 wake up….”

“Same…” He muttered before dozing off, meaning the other Karkat was waking up

The comment still didn’t click in his head as meaning what he’d just done would be known by his brother in the waking-world. As far as he was concerned, it was all just his own dirty little fantasy dream. He sighed softly,

feeling the tugging of awakeness threatening to take him from Karkat’s arms.

Waking back in reality, Karkat sighed, feeling his neck to find a bite wound “…oh my Gog….”

Kankri hadn’t quite woken up from the dream bubble yet, fighting the sensation to lay there with Karkat’s dream self for as long as possible.

Karkat growled lightly, getting up from the wall with a kink in his neck

Naturally, though, all good things must come to an end, and he woke up, feeling sore and tense on the floor and…. sticky? He groaned angrily when he realized what had happened, disgusted with himself, and sat up shakily, cracking his back then his neck, wincing when it hurt like hell. He patted against the skin where it was especially sore, expecting to have a knot in his neck there, and gasped when instead he felt wounds. Where did those come from……..

Karkat walked out of his room, slamming his door in frustration as he walked downstairs to the nutrition block to get something to eat.

Kankri sat there for a moment, stunned by the wounds, before scampering to his feet, ignoring the uncomfortable stickiness in his legs and thighs as he scampered off to the ablution block to look in the mirror to examine them. He gasped again when his neck very clearly revealed it to be a bite. A bit in the shape of Karkat’s teeth. But…. HOW. Panicking slightly, he ran back to his room, grabbing clean clothes, and ran into the ablution block, slamming the door shut and locking it as he frantically fumbled to turn on the shower, needing to clean up his mess but also to make sure he was awake entirely and they were real.

Karkat sighed, getting some cereal and munching it. he just decided to lay on the couch, back still tight and cramped

Kankri was having the equivalent of a combination mental breakdown and anxiety attack in the shower as he cleaned himself up and came to the realization that the bite from the dream was really there on his neck

Karkat pulled his sweater up, hiding his own bite mark. he turned over on the couch, growling at the nuisance of back pain

Eventually, he had to shut off the water and dress himself in clean clothes, ensuring his turtleneck was covering his neck. He wandered downstairs to see if there were any cookies left that he could distract himself with, unable to look at Karkat on the couch as memories from the dream-bubble flitted through his pan

Karkat uncaptchalogged his husktop and logged onto trollian, grunting as Sollux pestered him about stupid things

Kankri did find himself a single cookie and nibbled on it idly, trying to clear his mind, still refusing to look at karkat, he just kind of wandered back upstairs and shut himself into his room

Karkat, hearing the door close upstairs sighed and slowly shut his husktop, trudging upstairs to his brother’s room. He knocked on it lightly “…..Kankri..?” he asked lightly “…w-we need to talk..”

"…. N9t right n9w, Karkat…." Kankri’s voice called almost weakly from within the room, sounding slightly muffled. He was laying face-down on his bed inside, face buried against the pillow, sweater very securely in place to hide the bite mark

"I-it’s urgent though.." he sounded, huffing as he placed a hard over his own covered bitemark. He needed to see if Kankri really did mean what had happened in the dreambubble, or just forget about it…

"…. …. D9es it have t9 6e right n9w, Karkat…? This really isn’t a g99d time…." he warbled tiredly through the closed door, anxiety heavy in his voice

He growled lightly “yes Kankri….please” his voice seemed clouded in desperation and sprinkled in a light layer of sadness “I need to know…”

He cursed to himself miserably and got up off his bed, swallowing down as much of his discomfort as he could, before opening his door a little and peering out at Karkat wearily. “…. Need t9 kn9w what….”

“…. did you really…..did you dream it too…?” he asked, looking down at the floor, not able to look at his equivalent other.

Kankri glanced away, turning his attention toward his door and mumbled “…. dream what….”

He rubbed lightly at his own bite, gesturing a somewhat of a ‘you know.’

Kankri eyed Karkat’s neck area wearily before casting his gaze back toward the door, like it were far more interesting. He swallowed and frowned, grumbling uncomfortably, “Karkat I don’t know what you’re trying to hint at but if it isn’t too terribly important, then can I please get back to my work?”

Karkat grumbled and gripped Kankri’s jaw, turning him to face him “LOOK. I don’t know if I mean anything to you! I wanted to know that….What we did wasn’t just some over-night falter! I want to know that you love me!” He shouted, eyes starting to water with his clear-cherry tears

Kankri hissed when his face was grabbed, cheeks heating up in frustration and discomfort, heart catching in his throat. He glowered at Karkat, the words stinging like his favourite knives when the blades got a bit dull. He’d never forgive himself for what he was about to say, but he said it anyways, voice venomous. “Get y9ur hands 9ff 9f me, Karkat, if y9u value y9ur existence. N9thing happened 6etween us last night, y9u went int9 y9ur r99m and I int9 mine and that was the end 9f it. Y9u’re my 6r9ther, and I care f9r y9u as much as that, 6ut I will n9t hesitate t9 defend myself if y9u d9 n9t rem9ve y9urself fr9m vi9lati9n 9f my pers9nal space.” it was the equivalent of ripping his heart out of his own chest, the words made him nauseous even as they passed over his tongue, but he couldn’t let it be real, he couldn’t chance the dream having seeped into reality.

Karkat felt his tears beginning to stream down his cheeks, releasing his jaw. He sniffled “Fine. I guess, if that’s how you feel then…” he turned, starting to run to his own room. His heart felt like a hand had gripped it ever so hard after being gentle with it. Never had so much pain been delivered to him, not even the blows from the kids at school to the stomach. He slammed his door, back to it as he slid to the floor. Nothing had been this important to him, and yet, it was ripped away just like that. His old matesprit was taken from him by the sick ass human, Dave, and now, his own brother had removed him from the quadrant. Karkat sobbed, feeling his hands digging into the bite mark Kankri had left him, scratching at it as his blood streaked his neck and hand. If he wasn’t a valued piece of property, then why be a piece of property

The elder Vantas bit his lip as he watched Karkat retreat to his room, wincing, tears finally escaping when the door was slammed. His body felt heavy like lead weights, as he dragged himself into his room, opening the drawer and pulling out a few of his more sharp knives. He managed to get himself out of his sweater and into a dark shirt, before pulling on his dark trench coat he kept stashed under his bed. He put the blades into his various pockets and pulled on some gloves, before raising the hood up. For good measure, he dragged a vibrant, angry red slice across the bridge of his nose and another on his cheek, to make him look more pitiable and less threatening, before securing the final blade. His pulse was racing, pan foggy with anger and anxiety, as he wandered out of his room, closing the door behind him. He spared an aching, longing glance at Karkat’s closed door, before heading downstairs then leaving the hive. Blood was going to be shed tonight. he was hurting from his own stupidity and frustration, and deemed this the perfect time to test out his most recent kill strategy. He only hoped karkat could forgive him for what he’d done, and what he was about to go do.

Karkat sniffled, wiping his own eyes with the back of his arm, seeing the blood on his fingers as he smiled a pained smile. His blood seemed like a happy place, a nice place to let go. Slowly he started to dig his nails into his wrists, watching as some blood fell to the floor in droplets. He bit his lower lip to ignore the pain, digging his nail deeper. As he was letting his wrist flow a good amount of blood, the room started to spin, causing him to fall to the ground. The final lullaby. The final sound heard to coo Karkat to a deep dark sleep, was the trickling of his own blood, leaving him cold and a pale shade of grey, fingers stained in candy red, a saddened smile lightly pasted on his face.

Kankri was out for a good few hours, venting his self-loathing and frustration by splattering the blood of anyone he could get ahold of. It truly was the perfect kill. By the time he was done and had sufficiently disposed of the various bodies, he slumped down in an alley behind a dumpster, and dropped his hooded head down into his rainbow-splattered hands, allowing himself to finally break down and cry. Eventually, he passed out out there, body hidden from the world like those of his victims, covered in blood. It was a merciless, restless sleep, though he did eventually fight his way through a night-terror and manage to drag himself into a dream bubble, blinking blearily at his surroundings before curling up in a ball there, hand coming up and cradling the still tender bite on his neck. He broke into silent tears once more, anxiety threatening to throw him out of the bubble and back into the night-terror.

Karkat blinked his eyes open, standing in a dream bubble. He slowly sank to his knees, feeling the tears roll down his cheek “I’m such a fucking weakling…” he sobbed out, knowing what he had done “To resort to something such as that…” he sobbed grossly “ALL FOR FUCKING HIM!…..why do I care for him…” he laid on his side, sobbing into the floor of the hive around him. He knew he had resorted to suicide and he saw the angry red scar across his wrist, vision flashing to his room (before death), blood spattered on the floor, hands drying in wet candy red blood. He shouted loudly “NO!” he felt the memories tugging at his very sanity, making him wretch into a ball of cries and sobs on the floor, head nestled between his knees.

Kankri uncurled eventually and managed to sit himself upright just in time to lose all of his stomach contents across the floor in anxiety and guilt, body still flickering in solidity as his mind threatened relentlessly to tear him out of the dream bubble and send him hurtling back into the night-terror. He needed to calm down and fast, if he were to have any hope whatsoever of staying in the dream bubble until he woke up. Immediately, his mind flickered to his last visit here, making his pump-biscuit ache harshly with longing and sorrow, and he wobbled uneasily, miserably, to his feet, before managing to set himself in motion, searching for one of the alternate Karkat’s, if only to talk. he knew the odds of finding the one he’d lain with were close to none, but all he needed right now was to see Karkat’s face and to be able to talk to him and emotionally dump for him, and an alternate karkat would be exactly what he needed, in order to let him break down in the boy’s arms and try to amend for his words.

Karkat, after a few hours, sat up, struggling to get to his feet, though he accomplished it, wiping his face from the snot and tears. He started to trudge to the front door, opening it slowly, the light making his eyes adjust. He liked the warmth after being cold…He started to trudge into the dreambubble’s field, which happened to be surrounding his hive, only to see a figure moving through the grass…Too familiar…He felt his heart wretch in pain, holding onto the door frame to keep his balance, his knuckles turning white from his death grip.

The elder Vantas was sickly pale, red in his face and dark under his eyes, emotional anxiety clear as crystal as he staggered through the field toward the figure he saw ahead, unable to recognize it as Karkat yet, through his bleary vision. His body was still flickering unstably in parts, betraying him to be the dream self linked to the real Kankri, and his sweater was ajar, vibrant bite on his neck still there, plain as day. He made no move to hide it, either, body struggling to move closer to whomever this person was he was seeing, hoping they might know where he could find a Karkat, any Karkat….

Karkat growled lightly, looking away from the figure he recognized as his own brother, due to his sweater. He felt anger steaming through him, more anger than he had ever felt at any troll. His cheeks were dusted with a light blood blush from the pulsing, radiating, black romantic feelings. Where there once was love, had been replaced by hate… He didn’t know why he ever let himself fall for someone who would clearly reject him…Fully reject him… He could still feel a tinge of love in all the black that clouded his vision, but he chose to ignore it, feeling his tears tinge his stinging eyes.

As he managed to get closer, he finally recognized the figure and made a strangled cry of alarm, his stagger turning into an awkward run, desperate to see his brother’s face, even if it were just an alternate. He dropped to the ground on his knees a few feet infront of the troll, and choked out a weak sob, unable to look him in the face, guilt boiling up in his throat again as he whimpered softly and lowered his head, putting himself at the mercy of this figure, babbling soft, broken “I didn’t mean it” s and “I hurt him….” s

Karkat whimpered a bit, petting Kankri’s head shakily “He’ll…..forgive you….” was all he could manage to mutter out, tears starting to fall, he refused to look down at Kankri, for fear of hurting him more. “He’ll f-forgive you….even i-if you caused him so…so much pain..” he slowly kneeled down and hugged Kankri

"n-n9 he w9n’t…. he p-pr96a6ly hates m-me n9w…. I’m g9ing t-t9 wake up al9ne in t-that damned alley c9vered in 6-6l99d and drag my s9rry carcass 6-6ack h9me just t9 have him hate m-me….and I deserve it…. I l-l9ve him s9 f-fucking much and I c9uldn’t even f-face him…." he sobbed, trembling when Karkat hugged him, wincing as though expecting a harsh blow like he imagined his brother would do to him when he finally wakes up and drags himself back home. He didn’t care that he was practically admitting to being a murderer, to this Karkat. he couldn’t keep hiding it from every version of his brother he encountered.

He pulled back, gripping Kankri’s chin and pulling him into a deep kiss, forcing himself to keep his eyes closed, them being pale and clouded. “D-Don’t say that…..you never….know….Maybe he’s at home” he started to choke on some tears “m-making cookies…for you to return…and be happy..”

Kankri kissed back weakly, unable to properly respond from the emotions choking him up, tears like crimson rivers down his cheeks, washing over the angry red slices he’d given his own face. “H-he h-hates m-me…. W-what I d-did t9 him is unf-f9rgiva6-6le….” he babbled brokenly against Karkat before suddenly eliciting a pained, terrified scream, vibrant red showing up on one of his thighs as a deep wound manifested, his body flickering. His eyes widened in panic before he disappeared, yanked harshly from the dream bubble into the waking world, where someone had found him and knifed his leg to wake him up and prevent him from getting away, so they could presumably mug him. Dazed and still in panic from the dream, he staggered to his feet anyways, adrenaline making up for the pain, and decked the human hard in the face, breaking their nose, before scrambling out from behind the dumpster, past them, and making a break for it, desperate to get him, desperate to see Karkat.

Karkat sat in the dream bubble, shocked as the loneliness began to roll into his area of the dream bubble. He huffed sadly, wiping his eyes. Later, he would try to contact Kankri…But for now he needed to find out himself…

By the time the hive came into view, he was bleeding badly in his leg, adrenaline only barely managing to keep him running despite the pain that was beginning to seep through. He only kept moving because he was hanging on the thin flicker of a chance that the dream karkat was right, that his brother might be willing to forgive him. He needed to set things right, he wanted so badly to throw caution to the wind and apologize and beg to be his matesprit, he wanted to live happily with the boy…. As he entered the hive though, calling out frantically for karkat, and meeting only silence, he knew something was off.

Karkat sat in the dream bubble on the couch, face in his hands. He could only thing about the pain that Kankri was going to have to suffer when he found his body….

His heart was racing, anxiety boiling up, voice going soft and scared as he continued to call out “…. K-Karkat……?” into the silent hive. He staggered his way up the stairs and stopped at Karkat’s door, knocking on it gently, “K-Karkat……? P-please…. please 9pen up…. I’m s-s9 s9rry…. I didn’t m-mean it…. I…. I l-l9ve y9u s9 much…. ” he knocked again, whimpering softly, head hanging low in shame, assuming he was receiving the silent treatment. It was then that he spotted a shimmer of red underneath the very edge of Karkat’s door. His breath caught in his throat and he got shakily down onto his knees, finger reaching under the door slightly and touching the cooling red. He brought it up to his face slowly, nervously, and let out a soft, strangled choking sound, eyes widening in terror at recognition. “…. n9….”

Karkat felt his sadness welling up in his throat as his eyes were widening and stinging from the amount of crying

"………… n9…… n9…. n9 n9 n9 n9 n9…. n9 n9 N9…. KARKAT" his panic welled up and his body trembled as he begged against the door weakly "KARKAT PLEASE, PLEASE 9PEN UP…. PLEASE…. PLEASE 6E ALRIGHT…. I’M S9 S9RRY…. K-KARKAT, F-FUCK…. PLEASE…. …. …. please…….. …." his voice broke into a weak tremor, body wracked with painful sobs. "….p-please…. I l-l9ve y9u…….."

Karkat heart the echo in his mind, the echo of Kankri crying and saying his name…and begging…

"…. I n-need y9u…….. I c-can’t d-d9 this with9ut y-y9u…." he whimpered against the door, bloodstained hand patting down at his leg and yanking the knife out of it, that in his panic to get away, he had left lodged in the flesh till now. He trembled hard, gripping it in one hand, the other hand he pressed as far under karkat’s door as he could get it, his fingertips brushing against the edges of something… soft…. familiar…. matted with blood…. He sobbed when he knew it was Karkat’s hair, and trembled hard, petting the blood-matted hair gently as efficiently as possible with the only amount of his fingers he could get to touch it, the other hand weakly dragging the knife up along his body, just hard enough to leave a crimson trail as he cut through his shirt under the coat and gouged into his skin, before coming to pause at his clavicle. He brought he knife against Karkat’s door, body trembling with broken, weak sobs, other hand’s fingers still brushing gently against Karkat’s hair under the doorway. He carved a message into the wood of the door with the bloody tip of the blade, "I l9ved Him", before bringing it and sinking it hard into his chest, body slumping down against the door, hand still partially under it, fingers against Karkat, as his breath passed from his body.

Karkat ended up sobbing onto the couch, feeling the same clutching feeling at his heart

When Kankri again opened his eyes, he clutched painfully at his heart and curled up tight into fetal position, allowing the anxiety and loss and regret to overwhelm him as he basked in the guilt and misery of knowing he’d caused the one person who he believed deserved to live, more than anyone else…. to kill themselves.

Karkat laid on the couch, feeling like his whole world was empty. Memories echoed around him as he couldn’t let them go…It was like being trapped in a night terror, nothing better than what he had when he lived. He stared up at the ceiling with a blank emotion, suddenly knowing how Kankri had felt..

Eventually, he passed out on the ground where he lay, and someone must have found him because his unconscious self was dragged for miles and deposited in the field where he’d been before he was yanked awake. He was left there, laying in the grass, curled up unconscious, his mover deciding this was a better place to leave him than where he’d initially been, as though they knew he needed to be here.

Karkat slowly sat up, looking out the window to see a red sweatered figure laying in the grass. Karkat quickly ran out, dashing until he reaching Kankri, looking over him before scooping him up bridal style and lugging him to the hive. He looked tired and sad…

When his body was set down, his sweater jostled juuust enough to show the bite again, untouched, undamaged, exactly as karkat had left it on him. He was paler than before, dark bags under his eyes, and he groaned softly in pain and sorrow, stirring slightly

Karkat lightly traced his fingers lovingly over the bite mark, kissing Kankri’s cheek before pulling a blanket over the figure that now lay resting on the couch. Karkat smiled a bit sadly, knowing of what he’s done…If one person could rest in a dream bubble with out disappearing, that meant they had passed on…

Eventually, after an hour or two, he opened his eyes slowly and blinked, trying to figure out where he was, what was a dream and what was a nightmare. He scratched at his head tiredly before trying to stretch his body, only ending up hissing in pain as the long gash he’d made, which was now concealed under his clothing, rudely and angrily reminded him that, much to his horror, it hadn’t been a simply nightmare. He bit his lip as everything sunk in, and curled up silently, closing his eyes as he sunk back into despair. he’d been too late…. he couldn’t save his own brother….

Karkat was baking in the kitchen, taking out to Kankri and setting it next to him “I told you he’d be baking cookies…” He sighed, leaning over to kiss Kankri lightly “I’m sorry…”

The smell of cookies brought him to open his eyes slowly, unable to keep them closed because the scent would only remind him of home if he wasn’t able to see this other place. He sniffled a little and gazed up at Karkat in curiosity, understanding this was the same one he’d spoken to before waking. Their lips met and he kissed back weakly then shook his head. He stopped though and gasped softly, eyes widening in terror and despair when he caught glimpse of Karkat’s pale, clouded eyes and understood. Kankri weakly fumbled into an upright position and shakily reached for Karkat’s neckline, pulling down the fabric to look at his neck, tearing up all over again when he was the clawmarks mingled with what was left of a bitemark. Everything clicked all at once and he could only gently rub the marks with his hand and shake his head, gazing into Karkat’s eyes, his own tear streaked face riddled with remorse and apology as he breathlessly spoke “I’m s-s9 s9rry….”

Karkat whimpered a bit, kissing him lightly “shhhh~ I Know….” He put a hand over the other’s slowing the rubbing. “I love you….but…” He said, finding pain in his voice “….do you love me..?” He looked a bit sad. He tried so hard to live up to Kankri’s expectations, only to be put down until his very own end

Kankri sobbed softly and nodded, no hesitation at all “I l-l9ve y9u s9 much, Karkat…. S9 damn much…. I’m s9 s9rry…. t-this is my fault….” he pressed another soft, frantic kiss to Karkat’s lips, needing the gentle contact

Karkat kissed back gently and stroked the lining of the other’s face “shhhh~ Please…..calm down~…I’m sorry for….ruining the mark…you can try again if you wish~ I do not mind being yours…”

"I d-d9n’t deserve y9u…. I had my chance and I 6lew it…." he murmured sadly, shaking his head. he wasn’t going to mark Karkat again, seeing the clawmarks through the first one, heart aching at imagining the pain Karkat must’ve been in, literally and metaphorically speaking.

Karkat smiled sadly “I-I understand…” he sighed, pulling back from the close quarters “There are cookies if you need them…” he trudged up to his room to let Kankri adjust to his new dream self

Kankri simply sat there, tearing up again despite himself as he watched Karkat go upstairs. He curled back up on the couch, not even touching the cookies, tempting as they would usually have been. He just sort of lay there lamenting, and longing for Karkat

Karkat was in his room, laying against his cocoon, hands on his face “He wouldn’t even fucking mark me….I screwed every chance I had with him up…I’m such a fucking idiot..” he sighed

Slowly, as his tears subsided, Kankri managed to get himself up off the couch. he stood there wearily for a moment or two, trying to calm himself down, before looking over at the cookies and picking a few of them up and wandering upstairs where he’d seen karkat go. he got to the top of the stairs and looked around, trying to figure out if the setup was basically the same as their home had been in the waking world, before mustering the courage to knock on one of the doors and softly call out “…. K-Karkat…. ….?”

Slowly, the door opened, Karkat looking up “Yes…?” He blinked to Kankri, not sure why he was there “do you need anything, Kankri..?” He asked, tilting his head in curiosity

He nodded gently, eyes still sad, and asked him softly “…. may I c9me in……?”

He nodded stiffly, opening the door to the other. As soon as Kankri was in, Karkat slowly shut the door, wandering over to his computer desk and logging onto his husktop.

Kankri simply stood there against the wall quietly for a while, keeping the warm cookies in his hands, eyes downcast and uncharacteristically silent.

Karkat sighed, whirling around in his chair towards Kankri “are you okay..?”

When Karkat turned around to face toward him, he shook his head a little and shivered almost shyly before walking towards him, putting a cookie up to his mouth and holding it in his teeth, before gently straddling Karkat’s lap and leaning forward to nudge the cookie softly against his lips, eyes hesitantly and nervously looking up into Karkat’s eyes, cheeks faintly red.

Karkat blushed but hesitantly took the cookie, nibbling at it like before. Suddenly, when the cookie was short enough, Karkat pulled Kankri into a deeply romantic kiss, passing the remains of the cookie to him with his tongue

Kankri’s eyes closed and his cheeks burned warmly as he shyly indulged in the kiss, mewling softly in his throat when the cookie was passed to him via Karkat’s tongue, his own rubbing gently against Karkat’s as he swallowed the remnant cookie, his hand shakily bringing another one up near their mouths. He broke the kiss for a moment, panting softly, eyes still shut, and placed this one against Karkat’s lips so he’d take it, before leaning in and reconnecting with Karkat when he did, nomming on the warm cookie until his lips were able to reach Karkat’s again.

Karkat blushed, taking the cookie and kissing Kankri again eagerly. He groaned lightly in the back of his own throat. He started to grip Kankri’s hips lightly, not once breaking the kiss

Kankri shyly, hesitantly purred into the kiss, hoping, praying, that this was helping to repair the rift that had emerged between the two of them. He desperately wanted, needed Karkat’s forgiveness and affection, even though he didn’t believe he deserved it

karkat slowly pulling back, a string of saliva still connecting them. He looked like a cherry from how hard he was blushing “Kankri…..I Love you…so much, and you know that. But atleast warn me about this sort of thing~” He purred out, chuckling a bit

Kankri was blushing softly, nerves a bit too livewired to bring him to that charming cherry red yet, and trembled uneasily, closing his eyes and nodding his head softly, voice quiet. “…. s9rry…”

He smiled a bit, leaning and kissing his cheek lightly “no need to be….I Like surprises~” He smiled a bit. he was red from kankri’s hips being over his own, holding them lightly.

Kankri had actually forgotten Karkat’s hands were even against his hips. He gently buried his face against the other’s shoulder and set the remaining two cookies he’d grabbed down on his own leg before wrapping his arms around Karkat’s middle in a silent hug, simply wanting to be close to him.

Karkat slowly wrapped his arms around Kankri, lightly kissing at his bite mark. “you’re so precious to me Kankri….” He closed his eyes for a moment, resting his head on kankri’s shoulder

Kankri shivvered hard when the bite mark was kissed, even softly, and his voice came out soft and slightly muffled “…. …. my mark 9n y9u is in the f9rme 9f y9ur scars fr9m…. …. my 69dy may n9t have 6een there physically when they happened…. …. 6ut it d9esn’t change the fact that I’m the 9ne wh9 ended up putting them there…. ….”

He whimpered a bit “shhhh~ I don’t want to reflect on the past….let’s just….live this moment while we can, okay?” He whispered, nipping Kankri’s ear tip lightly. “Even if you did cause me sadness and pain….I can forgive.”

Kankri shivered and whimpered softly against him when his ear was nipped, ears twitching when he heard those words. he slowly, hesitantly looked up at Karkat, eyes mildly teary. “…. …. y-y9u…. w9uld f9rgive……..?”

He nodded, cupping his face and looking at him “definitely. I would do anything for you…”

Kankri gazed at him in awe for a moment before closing his eyes, trembling a little. He hugged Karkat desperately, voice soft in his throat. “…. …. w-w9uld y9u c9nsider giving me a chance t9 …. t9 try t9 6e y9ur m-matesprit…. …. ….?”

He smiled, feeling glad as he felt his eyes water, hugging him back “y-yes….I would like that..”

Nodding breathlessly, Kankri simply buried his face against his brother’s shoulder again, body still feeling weak from anxiety. He closed his eyes and relaxed a little, focusing on feeling Karkat’s body there against him, trying to calm himself with the sensation.

Karkat slowly brought his hands up to Kankri’s shoulders, massaging the tense muscles to try to relax him. He continued to massage there for a while until it slowed to a bit of light stroking, purring a bit

Kankri’s voice cracked a little, coming out weak as he spoke. He needed to tell him straightforward at long last. “K…karkat…… Y9u kn9w h9w I always insisted I was danger9us……?”

cracked open a shut eye “hmm? Yes…Why do you wish to know..?” he asked, starting to rub at his shoulders again

He took a deep breath before continuing. “…. I supp9se the pr9per term f9r me w9uld have 6een criminally insane….. …. Y9u remem6er h9w the city kept reporting strings 9f pe9ple disappearing, and h9w they suspected the pe9ple had 6een killed, 6ut they c9uld never find the 69dies….. …..? …… ….”

He paused a bit, breath hitched “…..I-I do…..I do remember..” He was tense a bit, having a feeling that Kankri was confessing…So it was true.. Even an Innocent soul can turn rotten and broken…

He couldn’t even cry by now, mind too numb from it all for him to feel any true remorse for what he’d done. He simply kept his face buried gently against Karkat, trembling slightly. He had no fear about what would happen to him for what he’d done…. his only fear was in disappointing Karkat. “…. I spent all the free time I had…. in my r99m, perfecting it…. designing the perfect murder…. and g9ing 9ut and practicing it…. the 6l99d 9f every single 9ne 9f th9se pe9ple is 9n my hands…. Every time s9me9ne disappeared…. and they c9uldn’t find them….? It was like a game t9 me…. I was always trying t9 9utd9 myself……..” he knew he sounded as insane as he likely was, but he couldn’t hide it any more…. He needed Karkat to understand why he was so hesitant to let him close.

Karkat whimpered a bit, hugging him closer slowly, trying to relax his own tense muscles “I don’t care if you….are dangerous… I love you, and that’s all that matters, okay..? from now on…I-I want to help you control your urges or some shit like that….m-maybe we can create alternate dream bubbles and let you go ape shit, but I….I love you….Okay..?”

He whimpered softly as well, unburying his face to gaze up into karkat’s own foggy eyes, his own teary. “Y…y9u still l-l9ve me……?”

He nodded, leaning a bit to kiss him on the cheek “Yes…..I will f-forever..”

Kankri trembled slightly, entirely at his younger brother’s mercy, eyes closing and lip quivering as a few tears escaped. All he ever needed was Karkat’s love, to be alright…. and Karkat was willing to give it to him.

Karkat held Kankri lovingly, purring to him “shhhhh~ sh….” He stroked the other’s hair lightly, playing with the curl near his cheek, smiling lovingly. He wiped away the few tears with his own finger, cupping Kankri’s face. “To be honest….I had loved you for a long while…but I thought I could never live up to your expectations…” he chuckled sadly “and now look, I had to die to reach them..” he felt his own lip quivering before kissing Kankri on the mouth with ever so much gentleness.

Kankri whimpered softly, still trembling as Karkat touched him so gently and affectionately, eyes closing in guilt at the reminder of what he’d caused. His lips quivered slightly at the kiss, breath hitching softly as he poured emotion into the gentle contact

Slowly, he started to advance the kiss, pulling Kankri a bit closer, leaning back in the chair so he could have Kankri in such a close profile. He took caution to the wind and took it nice and easy, deepening to kiss with haste.

His entire body vibrated with nerves, feeling livewired as he was pulled closer and the kiss was deepened, unable to help it as he shyly allowed himself to indulge in the contact he’d so desperately desired for so long.

Slowly, he pulled back from the kiss, breathing a bit heavily from the lack of air “….am I going to far..? I-I respect your vow…You can tell me to stop” he said, looking nervously around the room, a blushing mess.

Kankri’s face was rather red as well and he bit his lip after they separated, one hand coming up to gently trace the clawed up remnants of the bite mark on Karkat’s neck, voice soft. “…. I already set my v9ws aside f9r y9u, remem6er….? …. …. I’m y9urs, if y9u’ll have me….”

Karkat smiled lightly, slowly pulling back into the kiss before whispering “I accept.” He slowly started to nip at Kankri’s neck lightly over the bite

——————————————————————————————————————————-


End file.
